She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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