We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
