life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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