well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
