As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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