hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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