Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
