i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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