You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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