Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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