just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
