i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
