I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
