East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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