I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
