we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the day after is always just damage control
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
