Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
