Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
