i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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