So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
