I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
NoShamevember. You game?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
