At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
zippers are such a cool invention
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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