Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
