tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize