Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
