Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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