we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
