Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize