she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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