Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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