She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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