Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
