Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
