Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
