You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My friends, they love my intelligence
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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