I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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