haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
