If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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