I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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