my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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