He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
