I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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