Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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