I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
