I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
