I just threw up on my dentist
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
this hospital has no fireball
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
