Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
