If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
