Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
