I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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