True but thats because hes a fetus.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
