You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
