I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
