Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
