Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just googled if crying burns calories
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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