I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
