Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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