Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
