that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's get the cat blown out
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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