I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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